The Silver Linings Playbook Chapter 9

If I BackslideKnowing that if I outwear the equipment casualty thing, speedwell will say I shoot ruined her dark the way she did that one sequence when I wore Bermuda shorts and sandals to a dress-up dinner I cant stop thinking about what I am departure to wear to her dinner political party, so much that I dont purge learn in mind its Friday, and therefore, m to see Dr. Patel, until Mom calls down in the middle of my workout, saying, Were going away in fifteen minutes. Hit the showerIn the cloud room, I pick the brown chair. We recline, and Cliff says, Your mother tells me youve had quite a week. emergency to talk about it?So I tell him about Veronicas dress-up party and how my old dress array dont fit because I have at sea so much weight, and I have no swanky clothes other than the shirt my brother has recently given me, and I am pretty stressed out about going to a dinner party and wish I could just spend some time alone with Ronnie lifting weights, so that I wou ld not have to see Veronica, who even Nikki says is a mean person.Dr. Patel nods a few times like he does, and then says, Do you like the new shirt your brother gave you? Do you feel comfortable wearing it?I tell him I dead love my new shirt.So wear that one to the dress-up dinner, and Im sure Veronica will like it too.Are you sure? I ask. Because Veronica is sincerely particular about what you should wear to dinner parties.Im sure, he says, which makes me feel a whole lot better.What about pants?Whats wrong with the pants you have on now?I look down at the sunburn khakis my mom purchased for me at the Gap the other day because she says I shouldnt wear sweatpants to my doctors appointments, and even though the pants are not as swanky as my new Eagles jersey, they do look okay, so I gesture and stop worrying about what to wear to Veronicas dinner party.Cliff tries to take me to talk about Kenny G, but I only close my eyes, beat a single note, and silently count to ten every time he says Mr. Gs name.Then Cliff says he knows that I have been raw with my mother, shaking her in the kitchen and knocking her down in the attic, which makes me really disconsolate because I love my mom so much and she rescued me from the naughty place and has even signed all those legal documents and yet I cannot rightly deny what Cliff has said. My chest heats up with guilt until I cant take it. Truth be told, I break down and cry sobbing for at least five minutes.Your mother is risking a lot, because she believes in you.His words make me cry even harder.You necessity to be a respectable person, dont you, Pat?I nod. I cry. I do want to be a good person. I really do.Im going to up your meds, Dr. Patel tells me. You might feel a little sluggish, but it should help to throttle your violent outbursts. You need to know its your actions that will make you a good person, not desire. And if you have any to a greater extent episodes, I might have to recommend that you go back to the neural health facility for more intensive treatments, which No. Please. Ill be good, I say quickly, knowing that Nikki is little likely to return if I backslide into the bad place. Trust me.I do, Dr. Patel replies with a smile.